Yesterday I came home from a two-week trip. I miss my grandchildren so much when I am gone my husband knew we had to stop at my daughters house on the way home so I could get some little hugs. I have to mention that she runs a daycare out of her home so I get many hugs from all the daycare children who call me Grandma. It is so fun, they all run and hug me and tell me how much they missed me. I love them too. The one daycare child that is actually mine was very upset. Her big sister moved out when I was gone, not a wise decision on her part, but what do you expect, she is 19 and on a roll of making huge mistakes in her life. So the younger granddaughter tells me that "you won't get to see my sister anymore grandma, she moved out." I said, I bet you miss her. She said, "I do, but I called her and she said she is going to come and see me tonight. But I think she lied, she isn't going to come and see me." The conversation went on. It upset me that someone 5 yrs old would know that her sister isn't very reliable and she can't trust what she says to her. How does that happen, that the people who love you don't take priority, that you cannot be trusted? The happy ending is the 19 yr old went to see the 5 year old and they had fun. I wonder what she would think if she knew what her sister said?

Every year at this time (late March or early April) I get this urge to have some Canadian Whiskey. My husband automatically recognizes what is going on. I almost never drink Whiskey, I love it but as I have gotten older it doesn't always agree with my tummy. None the less I have a drink. You see, the one thing I associate Canadian Whiskey with is my father, his birthday is April 4. He passed away over 30 years ago. I miss him, but that doesn't really have anything to do with the desire to drink whiskey, I miss him all the time. We started a tradition that he had which was to cook prime rib for the family dinner on Christmas Eve. We have quite a few other things that he passed on to us as well. It is just natural, I suppose. But every year when out of the blue, without even thinking about him I pipe up and say, I have a desire for a glass of whiskey, my husband says, "Isn't you dad's birthday coming up?"

Gotta love someone that knows you that well. So Daddy tomorrow we are drinking whiskey, we will raise a glass to you, to all the things you left us with. Love you.

Reading

Today on Facebook I saw that Robert Crais and Michael Connelly kicked off Santa Monica's Citywide Reads program. I don't care that it is a little self promotion. Reading has been one of the loves of my life. Of course I love to read both of those authors too.

I think to my partner it seems like the other man. He is ignored, shushed and has to listen to funny or relevant parts of the current book I am reading. He doesn't mind, I think he sees the pleasure it brings to me.

It is funny because I come from a family of readers, well not all members of the family read, but many of them do. There was a recent squabble because those of us that are readers were talking about a book that many of us read, and one very insecure member of the family thought we were being uppity. I laughed. I said, you know, you too can read. Books are actually free if you really want to read. You can go to the library and check out a book and within minutes you can be in Istanbul, or Madsgascar, Atlanta, Georgia or New Orleans. What a wonderful learning experience I have everytime I read.

My mother passed on this love of words to me. It was so sad, when in the later years of her life her eyesight got so bad she couldn't read. I then started sending her what I still call books on tape. Showing my age a bit. Mom enjoyed the books on tape more than I even I can imagine.

When books on tape first became available in the library, I began looking forward to the long car rides across the country. I know that every book I have ever read, taught me something. That is a lot of teaching. Books have shaped my life and given me insight into difficult subjects. Yes, it is a passion. When I retired a few years ago, my passion became my job, I have read so many books over the last few years that I have read almost all the books by the dozen or so authors that are my favorites right now. I have found new venues for finding books, the self published books or short stories that Amazon has just opened up. Man what a cornucopia of information that is available there.

My recommendation is that you stop making excuses, if you don't read, buy just one audible book. Put it on your iPod or what ever little gadget you have for music and instead of listening to the music you usually listen to in the car, listen to a book. It can be music to your ears, and quite fun.

PBS Newshour tribute to fallen warriors

Every night my husband and I watch the Newshour. My favorite part is the end when they pay tribute to the warriors who have died in combat. I cry everytime I watch it. As a daughter, wife, friend and mother of military men, I simply cannot watch that segment and not feel compassion, sympathy and a little guilt for the loss of life given for my freedoms. It is easy to question or justify the need to do this. I don't do that, well not much, but I do feel the pain of every mother, wife, daughter or friend of someone who has lost their life in combat.

On the other hand I complain about my own husband who is gone way too much, serving his country. I complain about the way the military treats people, their greatest asset. I complain about a lot that has to do with the job he does for the military.

One thing I realize is that this is a part of who he is. His dedication and patriotism. His compassion for the world. What he does is important to everyone in the military. He is a patriot. He loves his job. I would love nothing more than for him to come home tomorrow and tell me he is leaving the military. I would also be sad for him. The times that are the worst for me are the best for him.

My greatest wish is that the leadership in the military and the public appreciate the sacrifices people make for this crazy job they do. I wish that each and everyone of us, if not cry, at least feel the pain of the family and friends of those warriors who have given the ultimate price for us, the people of the United States of America and the people of the world.

Giggles and grins

Have you ever just sat and watch a couple of kids playing and having fun. Sometimes it makes no sense. They laugh and smile and seem to be happy for no apparent reason at all. It makes so much sense to go back to that state of mind where you can giggle and grin for no reason at all except that you are wildly happy.

I guess I wonder what happens to us between childhood and adulthood. Ah, I remember, being a teenager. That says it all...

The years when you learn so much, and make so many mistakes. You learn to distrust, love is not unconditional, if you find someone you fall in love with is probably isn't for ever. Just a few of the negative things you learn. But there are positives as well, like taking responsibility for yourself, although some have learned this better than others.

Life is too short to let the negative event in your life keep control. This year I am going to try to overcome all my past negatives and get back to the time in life when I would giggle and grin just because.

life is a little nutty

This thought is for all the nuts out there.

Some people save nuts, like a squirrel. Each nut represents a little heartache or wrong that has happened to them by the person they love, next thing you know they are building walls of these nuts that are cemented with insecurities, before you know it there is a wall of all these little nuggets of hurt and anger that has closed off a perfectly good relationship. Then one day, you add one too many nuts to your wall and everything comes crumbling down and you start throwing nuggets at each other that cause irreparable damage to your relationship. You have to crack the nut, share the meat and toss the shell before you can continue. It is a lot easier to do this one nut at a time than to have to crack, eat and clean up all those nuts that wall was built of. Happy nut cracking!

Hello again

It has been a while since I posted to my blog. Took a hiatus. But I am back. I am thinking about some subjects I can write about. Corporate Responsiblity will be my next topic.

Tips for dining out

1. Never go to an establishment that has a sign out in front that says "Help Wanted" or "Manager Wanted".

2. Fast food isn't always fast.

3. Never eat at a place where the cook wears baggy pants. How do you think he is keeping them up?

4. Don't complain about the food until after you have finished.

5. Don't leave a tip if you don't get good service, that is what the tip is for.

6. If you go to a drive through and the parking lot is full and the drive through line is backed up either go someplace else or plan on a wait.

7. If you go into a fast food place and there are 10 or 11 people sitting around with no food, go somewhere else or plan on a long wait.

8. Never go to a restaurant on "kids eat free" night unless you have kids who eat a lot. Something has to make up for all the screaming brats sitting around you.

9. If you want a really good meal at a fast food restaurant order the salad otherwise go somewhere else.

10. McDonalds really does have the best french fries.

What news?

What is with the networks now days? You can't watch the evening news without them "covering" the latest reality show on their own network. Someone ought to tell them that this isn't news, it is advertising. News today has turned into a self-licking ice cream cone. In fact, most of what they cover today isn't news. Michael Jackson, who cares? The media has sensationalized this freak show to the point of insanity. They put more emphasis on movie stars and pop singers than they do what impacts our lives like the loss of lives in Iraq and Afganistan. It doesn't make sense.

I am concerned about the opposition to public radio and television, if the powers that be are successful in getting the funding cut or somehow limiting these two real news outlets the US is in trouble. I base this on 25 years of working with the media, most of the time the only coverage you get from the network news in a difficult situation is negative at least NPR or Public Television will give you balanced coverage. I suspect that is the issue. Not that they lean one way or the other but that they present things from both sides. How can you convince people of the sensationalism if they hear both sides? What is really behind the assault on public radio and TV is loss of revenue. I am sure there are many people, like myself who surf right on by the network news and the "all news" channels. We have more choices but it is like saying you have three choices tonight for dessert, vanilla ice cream, vanilla ice cream, or vanilla ice cream and none of them are really vanilla ice cream. The alternate sources for news, such as the internet, cut into that profit line also. I guess survival of the fittest will force networks to change or to die. I for one am doing my part to make sure public radio and television survive.

Academia

I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day about attending college, studying PR. His complaint was that most of what he is learning is not applicable to doing a job. I remember when I was getting my degree, I had the same complaints. Theory, that is what academia teaches. I wonder how long they would last if a college opened up that taught students how to be better employees, rather than the rote memory book learning curriculum they currently teach. Imagine that, a college graduate with skills to do the job you have hired them for. That begs the question why isn't there more hands on experience for students and less theory. I suspect that academia (sorry for generalizing but if the shoe fits, wear it, if it doesn't then don't wear it) have their noses so high in the air that they don't even realize that the theory they teach is only applicable to their career fields. When was the last time you thought, oh this falls into this theory, when you are trying to solve a problem or market your product? I suspect never, I know I don't. I challenge some the business executives of the world to start a college that focuses on the skill sets needed to succeed in today's world and put the academics out of work.

Corporate Responsibility

I see many flyers, brochures and emails regarding Corporate Responsibility, it sounds like a fascinating subject. What I am wondering is why is there nothing on Government Responsibility. How do the feds know what the American public expects of the government? Is there a standard. If not then why not? Did you know that the US federal government is the largest employer in the nation? If you break it down by agency the Dept. Of Defense is the largest of them all. Even when you exclude all the other agencies in the federal government the Dept. Of Defense is the largest single employer in the country. Yet all the focus is on Corporations. I think that the PR field is missing the boat when they neglect to acknowledge government PR people. It is a tough job, so many rules and regulations to restrict what can and can't be done. Yet many government PR people run effective programs with little money and even less support. Corporate and agency PR professionals could learn much from the government PR professional. The Army has already recognized that they can learn much from Corporate PR. They acknowledged it by developing training with industry program. This program offers an opportunity to the upper managers in Public Affairs an opportunity to spend 6 months working in either an agency or corporate environment. I have yet to see a corporation knocking down the doors of an army organization to provide a "new" perspective on PR for their folks. You know the old saying, ...Walk a mile in my moccasins...

Media training, whose got it, who doesn't and why aren't the trained doing the talking?

This has been a debate for some time in my circle of friends. We spend years perfecting our ability to talk to the media and then we have to put the top guy on camera. He isn't even believable when he passes you in the hallway and says "how are you doing?", now we are putting him in front of a TV camera? I know there are many PR professionals that don't agree with this, but does this make sense? Engineers design and build very technical things, but, for the most part they aren't good communicators. I have had conversations with engineers and lawyers about the public's understanding of the meaning of a word. This frustration, I am sure has caused many a communicator to role his/her eyes in dismay many times. This came up because I had a student ask me recently, when do you put the CEO instead of the press secretary in front of the camera.