Colonel Fore

I used to have a boss, he was a Colonel, his last name was Fore. Colonel Fore was the base commander at the then closing Ft. Ord, California. The base closed in 1995. Anyway I digress, Col. Fore loved to golf, or as he said it goff. His staff made word play with his last name, you can use your own imagination as to what some of them were. It was all in good fun, since he was well loved around the base. I asked him once just after I found out he played golf, so you play, huh? How good are you? He said he wasn't very good and there were a number of trees around the world with his golf club wrapped around them, it was the most frustrating game he had ever played. That was him, there wasn't enough irritation in the world, he had to find more. He was from Arkansas and used to tell me, I am just a simple boy from Arkansas. He spoke like that, using euphumisms. He had saying he would use that drew pictures in your mind. During a staff meeting we had, he used my favorite while talking about out budget. I had never heard it said, and to this day I have never heard anyone use it as a descriptive. The budget was smaller than they had expected and when a base is closing there are many unusual expenses, so we discussing it and he said, "It's like stretching a gnats ass over a rain barrel." My seat during staff meetings was behind the Colonel, I guess he really didn't want to see the public affairs officer then he didn't have to think of the buzzards over head. Well I started giggling and the guy setting next to me started and pretty soon, the Colonel turned around with a puzzled look on his face and said to me, what are you laughing about, in his most stern voice, I said that I liked his colorful language, it took him a few seconds to remember what he said, then he apologized. He endeared himself to me that day. So, it was earth shattering one day when we were again having a staff meeting, I can't remember what we were discussing this time, but I can tell you I wasn't paying attention. I was startled when he pounded his fist on the table, pointed at me and yelled Sandy, then proceeded to rant. I must of had a terrified look on my face, because he stopped mid-sentence and said not you Sandy, but the other Sandy. I was sitting next to a guy whose given name was Alexander and they called him Sandy. I began breathing again. After it was over and we had moved on, I turned to the Sandy and said, that is the last time I sit next to you, he grinned. There were lots of ceremonies as the base closed and units deactivated. His beautiful wife attended one of these ceremonies. When I say beautiful, I mean fashion model beautiful. Even at sixty she was tall and willowy, gorgeous face and the most stunning silver gray hair. Anyway, he was very proud of her. There was another ceremony on the parade field, she went to his office and rode over with him. After it was over she and I were talking, he came over and said to her, you need to get your purse out of my car, I have a meeting to attend. She said can't you just bring it to me. He quipped, I am not carrying your purse across the parade field, in my uniform, I love you but this is not something I will do for you. I cracked up laughing, since I have told my husband this story, he uses it to his advantage, he will say, if Colonel Fore won't do it, what makes you think I will? When Colonel Fore retired, I didn't go to his party, I too was in the midst of leaving Fort Ord, so this is my tribute to him. He is someone I think fondly of even though he was as rough as a cob (also one of his sayings, although much more common).